It happens…and you dread it. You don’t want your special needs child to ever feel ashamed of what he or she is, but there’s always a rude stranger who either doesn’t know or doesn’t care about your kid’s challenges. Here are 10 things you can say to deflect rude comments.
- My child has [insert special need here], and s/he deserves to be treated with respect like everyone else.
- I don’t believe I heard you properly. I think I’d like to keep it that way.
- I would appreciate it if you apologize to my child for hurting his/her feelings.
- I teach my son/daughter to be polite to people. Could you please rephrase that?
- Would you like to rethink what you just said?
- I hope you didn’t realize how hurtful it was to say something like that.
- My child has special challenges, but that’s no excuse for you to be rude.
- [Explain what your child's special needs are if the person seems ignorant but reasonable.]
- Did anyone ever tell you the world is full of people with different challenges? I guess yours is a lack of tact.
- Please don’t ever speak that way to my child again.
How do you respond to rude comments from people? Do you have any examples you’d like to share with us?
I think these are great even if you do not have a Special Needs child. People assume things about children, and often put their noses/comments where they should not be. I think simply telling the person that you are the parent and to please move on is another way. This avoids possible confrontation, lets the person know you mean business, and your child sees you are standing up for them in a dignified manner.
We pick and choose which comments merit a response. When children are little, it’s important for them to feel protected. As they get older, I think it’s also important to help them speak up for themselves when this is possible. Over the years, I’ve tried to coach my children as to what they could say in different situations. And sometimes, we’ve found the best defense is to just walk away.